In 1990 I took a new job in charge of a crew that worked nearly 16 hours a day. The weight of the whole team’s productivity and safety was squarely on my shoulders. I found myself drinking a bit more, but didn’t think much about it. In the spring of 1992 the company hired another crew. That took some pressure off of me and I found more time to drink. I was drinking at home and work, but I was good at hiding it. After a disagreement with my boss, I quit. My drinking increased. In the spring of 1993, I got a new job. It was a good job, without the responsibilities of being in charge of the entire team. But I had been drinking heavily and was liking it. My wife hadn’t picked up on my drinking and I didn’t have to answer to anyone for a while.
On my drive to work I would drink a half pint, and drink another on the way home. I think some of my coworkers suspected I was drinking on the job, but no one ever confronted me. I always had 1 to 2 half gallons at home. My wife and I had some arguments over that, but I shrugged it off.
The drinking got worse. It had taken over my life. I could not stop. I was missing work one to two days a week. My home life was not good. I knew I was hurting my family. My daughter wasn’t getting the attention from me that she should have. My wife and I were fighting. I just wanted to be alone to drink. I knew deep down I had a problem. Could I be an alcoholic?
By the Spring of 1995 I was drinking 2 and a half gallons a week but somehow, I kept my job. On August 20th, 1995 my sister, who was in her 6th year of sobriety, showed up at my house. This was my rock bottom and the beginning of my recovery journey. She had been in contact with a local inpatient treatment facility. After a long conversation I agreed to talk with them.
I needed help, and they offered me a scholarship. What a wonderful place. It was full of people like myself with addictions, from alcohol to drugs. I learned a lot about myself, my family, my friends, and the people at treatment. They gave me a new outlook on life, showed me what is most important, and how much people loved me. All of the things I had forgotten. I have been sober for 26 years and have so many people in my life now to thank for that. Without their love for me there would probably be no me.
