When I think “recovery” my mind often goes to addiction; however, recovery can be applied to any struggle with a mental health disorder. I did not consider myself to be in “recovery” until recently. As someone who works as a mental health professional, I know a lot about mental health disorders and SHOULD be able to recognize when someone is struggling. Because of my profession, I typically tend to put myself last and focus on the wellness of my family, friends, colleagues, and clients. It was not until fairly recently that I made the decision to focus on my own wellness and make it a priority. I have suffered from anxiety and depression since I can remember. Social anxiety crippled me as a young person and depression held me in its grip for most of my teenage and adult life. My depression wasn’t obvious from the outside, I was high-functioning and able to have a career and relationships; however, I often felt like l was “just getting through.”
When the pandemic hit and I was quarantined by myself with little social interaction, I hit a point where I struggled even more with motivation, and staying positive. It was during this time that I decided to talk to my doctor about mediation. Medication had been suggested to me in the past but, even as a mental health professional, I allowed stigma to cloud my judgment. I convinced myself that my depression wasn’t “that bad” and I could deal with it on my own. What I failed to realize was that if I had been experiencing pain as a side effect of a physical illness I would not hesitate to medicate myself…so why was I avoiding taking medication for the mental pain I was experiencing?
Antidepressants typically take around a month to build up in your system but gradually I felt more positive and like an invisible weight was being lifted off of my shoulders. Around the thirty day mark I remember texting my friends and family who knew I had tried the medication and expressed just how different I was feeling. “You really don’t realize how depressed you are until you aren’t anymore.” I am grateful to be in recovery from living with depression and being able to have a life that is filled with joy instead of feeling like I am “just making it through.” I have hobbies, have energy, and have completed things that I have put off for years. If there is anything, as a mental health professional and someone who has struggled with mental health, I can say to those who are still struggling…do not let what others think control what you do. If you need support, get support. Utilizing therapy and medication does not mean you are weak. Do not let stigma hold you back from living a life of joy.
